


We All Need Someone to Stay

by BigBadLittleRed



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck had a bad childhood, Coping, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Trauma, eddie is a good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:54:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21801277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigBadLittleRed/pseuds/BigBadLittleRed
Summary: Eddie finds out Buck's odd coping mechanism.AKA: Buck hides in the closet when he's upset.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 23
Kudos: 604





	We All Need Someone to Stay

**Author's Note:**

> ( The title is from the song Someone to Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic! )

The California weather can really be impressive, in Eddie’s opinion, he doesn’t think he’ll ever prefer it to Texas but it’s a close second. He loves the consistency, the way the sky looks when it’s clear and sunny out. The sun is warm, and the air is blowing just enough so it’s not a scorcher, and Eddie feels good. Christopher won’t need to be picked up until later this evening because he’s spending the day with his abuela. He had been talking about making tamales for a week, and that’s probably the only thing Eddie feels like he’s missing out on.

It’s rare that Christopher has a day with his grandmother on the same day Eddie is off, but he doesn’t mind. He could have easily joined them, but he wasn’t going to skip out on a chance to spend quality alone time with Buck. Their relationship is still fairly new, a strange ground that he’s never been on. Eddie had never been close to someone as a friend and then moved into a relationship with them, he usually started out interested and worked his way into a relationship. Friends was a brief, passing stop, not the original destination.

Buck and Eddie had all the information on each other, all the familiarity, before ever having romantic intimacy. It makes for an interesting time, building up a romantic rapport like nervous teenagers while already being so damn close. It makes Eddie feel like he’s never been with anyone before, and it gives him a bit of a thrill.

He can’t wipe the smile off his face as he climbs into the elevator, or even as he walks down the hall to Buck’s apartment door. He doesn’t knock anymore, he hasn’t since Buck gave him a key almost a year before. They had been dating for three months now, and although part of him hesitated to continue using the key, Buck assured him it was fine. He trusts Eddie, he likes having him around, he’s welcome, any time.

The memory of those words makes his heart burst in ways he will never allow anyone to know about.

But the feelings all fall away when he opens the door and finds the apartment dark and quiet. He frowns, letting the door close behind him. “Buck?” He waits but earns nothing but silence in return.

The image of Buck spitting up blood at his party has his overprotective instincts kicking into gear, so he goes looking around. He pulls out his phone on his way up the stairs, Buck had told him he wasn’t doing anything today a few days ago. Maybe that changed? Maybe he’s out with Maddie or something? When he reaches the top of the stairs, the bed is empty and strangely devoid of a comforter and pillows.

Laundry day, probably.

So where the hell is Buck?

He checks his messages and then clicks the call button, waiting for a moment. As soon as the line starts to ring, he hears a familiar ringtone from nearby. His eyes immediately zero in on a nearby door, the muffled sound of music coming from behind it. Eddie stands quietly, a bit stunned and slightly confused, but then the line clicks.

“ _Hey,_ ” He can hear the voice much clearer on the phone, but there’s a bit of noise from behind the door as well. Isn’t… Isn’t that Buck’s _closet?_

“Hey, what are you doing?” He tries to keep his voice casual and lowered so that Buck can’t hear him.

“Nothing, I’m just hanging around.” Buck’s quiet little huff would normally be nothing, but now Eddie is analyzing every note in his voice.

He sighs. “Buck,” He walks forward, turns the doorknob, and pulls it open.

Buck’s sat on the floor, swaddled in his comforter with his earbuds in and connected to the phone in his lap. His eyes look a little irritated, like maybe he’s been crying, but they’re wide and alert now. He looks caught, exposed, and Eddie only feels slightly guilty as he crouches down.

“Oh, hey.” The tips of his ears are already starting to redden, cheeks pinking slightly.

“Any reason you’re hiding from me?” He asks with a tip of his head.

Buck looks a bit stunned as he looks up at Eddie once more, shaking his head as his mouth drops open. “I-I’m not hiding from you.”

“I see, you just spend a lot of time in the closet, then?” He nods at him, and Buck’s face does something complicated, he looks scorned and… Ashamed?

“Sometimes.” He admits softly, and Eddie feels his mild irritation at the situation fade instantly.

“Come out of there.” He holds out his hand and is surprised when Buck shakes his head and tucks his chin to his chest. His arms disappear into his comforter, and he becomes a lump of blanket with just the top of his head visible.

“You’re just gonna make fun of me.”

Eddie would laugh if Buck didn’t sound so sincere, but he knows that whatever this is, it’s serious. So he drops down onto his knees on the hardwood flooring, and sits on his haunches.

“I’m not making fun of you, baby, I just want to know what’s going on.” He promises, reaching out and digging a hand into the comforter to locate one of Buck’s so he can hold it.

When Buck looks back up at him, his eyes are glassier than before. His heart melts at the sight, he didn’t mean to hurt Buck’s feelings over whatever this is. He pulls Buck’s hand up to his mouth to kiss his knuckles, just to make him feel a little better. Buck’s always been a touchy guy, and Eddie often felt lucky to help fill his physical affection quota when he’s around him.

“You won’t laugh?” Buck asks cautiously.

Eddie shakes his head firmly and squeezes his hand. “No.”

“I know it’s stupid, I just…” Buck shifts uncomfortably, the blanket falling from his shoulders and puddling around him in a puffy ring. “Whenever I’m having a bad day, I just hide in the closet for a while.” He confesses.

Eddie blinks, a bit confused and even more worried. The thought of Buck locking himself in a small closet to cope with his feelings seems sad and a bit concerning. “How long have you, uh-” He gestures a little to the closet.

“A while, I used to hide under the bed as a kid, but I got too big. Closet was the next best thing.” He reaches up, awkwardly scratching at his temple. “Things weren’t great, back home, so when it got bad, I just hid.”

Buck doesn’t talk about his childhood, or Pennsylvania much at all. He mentions some college happenings, the occasional story between himself and Maddie. But he always excludes his parents, and Eddie never wanted to pry simply because it seemed to be a purposeful attempt to avoid that part of his life.

“I’m sorry, carino.” He sighs, opening his arms and letting Buck climb out of the closet and into his lap. He fits there so nicely, their noses bumping gently as they twist their heads to brush their lips together. “What made today a bad day, huh?” He drags his thumb along Buck’s jaw, humming softly into another kiss.

“It’s stupid,” Buck mutters, ducking his head down in embarrassment as Eddie presses a kiss to the side of his neck.

“Baby boy,” He tucks strong arms around the younger man’s waist, squeezing him close and then kissing his shoulder. “Not to me, it isn’t. You shouldn’t ever be afraid to tell me something, okay?”

Buck sinks back from him, still on his lap but leant back enough to where they can see each other. Buck fiddles with a button on Eddie’s shirt, staring down at it, sighing quietly. “It’s just, they’re building a memorial for the tsunami victims, for the anniversary next week.”

Oh, so that’s what this is about. “Yeah, I heard about that.”

“People just keep talking about it, it’s on the news and social media and I just…” He inhales slowly, then lets out a shaky breath. “I _know_ I should be over it, but I’m _not_.”

“Evan,” He reaches up and presses a finger under Buck’s chin to pull his gaze upwards. “You don’t have to be over it. That was a serious traumatic event for the whole city, and honestly I’m sure there are a lot of people taking it a lot harder still.”

Buck thinks on that for a moment, his hand moving up to curl around Eddie’s bicep. “Does Chris still have nightmares?”

“Every so often, yeah, he does. And he won’t set foot near the beach anymore.” Buck only seems to look guilty then, and Eddie is quick to cut that off. “But he is getting _better_ , and it is still not your fault, either. Buck, you cannot predict the weather, and you most certainly can’t keep a tsunami from happening.”

“I know, I know… I just… Regret it.” He leans forward, a bit limp, and tucks his forehead into Eddie’s shoulder.

“What happened, happened. There’s nothing else to it, querido.” He promises, rubbing Buck’s back soothingly. “Now, have you eaten?” He kisses the skin behind Buck’s ear.

Buck sits back up, rubbing at his eye. “No.”

“All right, well how about we get something delivered and spend the afternoon on the couch?” He offers, a smile finding his face when Buck’s lips twitch upwards and his eyes get that pretty little sparkle in them.

“You don’t have to pick up Chris?”

“He’s at his abuela’s all day, I won’t have to pick him up until later tonight.” He explains, pulling Buck in for a kiss. “So I can spend all day,” Another press of their mouths. “taking care of,” One more. “my boy.”

Buck’s cheeks are bright pink now, a mixture of embarrassed and pleased. “I’m your boy?”

“Yes, of course.” He shifts under the other’s weight. “And I will gladly hold you on the couch, because my ass is falling asleep on this floor.”

“Oh, sorry.” Buck slides off in a pile of graceless limbs, and then they’re both getting to their feet. “So you don’t mind?” He asks as they’re walking down the stairs, hands clasped together.

“Mind what?” He asks, eyes on the steps in front of him.

“The whole closet thing, I know it’s weird.” Eddie stops at the base of the stairs, turning and waiting for Buck to step off the last stair. “Nobody really knows about it.”

He appraises Buck for a moment, the redness of his eyes is fading but he still seems nervous. Waiting patiently for Eddie to drop some weird ultimatum or insult on him. “Does it help?”

“Y-Yeah,” Buck nods his head.

“Then I don’t mind,” He pauses. “But I would like to get a call from you if you’re ever holed up in there. So that I can make sure you’re okay.” He tips his head slightly to meet Buck’s downturned eyes, smiling slightly when he sees the surprise written on the man’s face.

“Oh,” His ears are starting to redden again, but he nods. “Yeah, sure.”

“Good,” He leans up on his toes to kiss Buck once more.

**Author's Note:**

> ( Thanks for reading, I might add another chapter onto this sometime and show some different circumstances where Eddie finds Buck in the closet. I almost added a closet joke but it didn't fit the vibe at the time, maybe I'll fit one in later. )


End file.
